Getting hitched and coming undone


It’s been a bit quiet on this blog and I’m gonna tell you why.
Somebody’s been on a path of accelerated transformation, approaching a very significant rite of passage. This upcoming summer will be about long days, basking in the sunshine, ripening of fruit and… declaring vows.
Yup. That’s right, folks:
I’m getting married.

Glorious, beautiful, exciting and yet oh mama, so much more than I’d bargained for in terms of growth.
And I’m not even talking about the “what have I gotten myself into?” response to the to-do lists. I actually declared to the universe: “Bring it!” as in: let it this journey work me. I guess I asked for it. Now it’s as […]

Whatever’s wrong, the solution is the same

793px-NautilusCutawayLogarithmicSpiral“Whatever’s wrong, the solution is the same,” my client Bianca just said, referring to Restorative Yoga. Restorative Yoga works for her because it is non-verbal and experiential. Her nervous system is soothed, she slows down, she takes in nourishment. Not to mention another special element: it’s non-relational. Once in the pose it’s all about the connection with oneself. Stillness, soothing, simplicity.
Sounds like an antidote to me.

I’m onto something here: combining Restorative Yoga with Somatic Counseling in my healing practice and courses. I’m overjoyed about the combination and I’ll tell you why.

Restorative Yoga is a practice that utilizes props to support the body in positions of comfort and ease […]

Who believes in “Happily Ever After”?

bRK43Pamela2I just overheard a man at the cafe table next to me joyfully saying he’s been married for a year. I mean a year is not a huge amount of time but as I heard that I tuned in to a snarky belief that’s always playing in the background: Happily ever after does not exist. The message in my childhood was that if someone looks really happy then you don’t know them well enough. That goes for an individual, a couple, a family. Anyone who seems to have it all, what you’re seeing must be a façade. Of course it’s true that people are complex but still a rather bleak outlook. And yet, that belief […]

Why is support such a schlep?

Storing yoga props in my home for Judith's course. Students came from as far as South Africa, Japan, Ireland for the training schlep 

Haul or carry (something heavy or awkward).

A tedious or difficult journey.

This summer I am spending some good chunks of time with Judith Lasater. Ahhhh. My whole body sighs just writing that.
A yoga teacher since 1971, (the year that I was born!), Judith is the guru of restorative yoga, the premier proponent of rest, the expert on slowing down. Studying with Judith means schlepping a wheelbarrow-full of props to class every day. It’s cumbersome. And right now as I seek the next place to host my course Falling in Love […]

Please, sir…

please-sirLately I have this image that keeps coming back to me of a fallen power line. There’s no more electricity running through it but it still thrashes about with its last kick of life. Or there’s the image of a hose that despite the water having been shut off is still gushing with the reserves that were in its length. Or like the kid who nobody told: Psst– you can stop hiding– Olly olly oxen free.

I seem to have some knee jerk behaviors that haven’t caught up with my current level of personal evolution. What was that about? Why am I still chasing after people, hurt by unintended gestures, or living in a mentality of […]

How Much Does Change Cost?

rauner_burqa-002Do you value something if it comes for free? 
Sometimes the most challenging situations are the ones that grow us the most. Thanks, a lot! That was more than I bargained for…

A client of mine is in the grip of grief and anger over a break up. To shift his perspective I had him list all that he learned from the relationship. The list was significant! Unfortunately, the cost for all that learning is pain. Doesn’t make it easier but it does help to see that there’s a return on our willingness to grow.

I recently participated in a creative project that stretched me to grow. I was the only white woman in a play with […]

What do we want? Change! When do we want it? Now!

You are perfect as you are, and you could use a little work.
-Shunryu Suzuki-roshi


Once we become aware of what’s not working we want to be free of it — right away!
 I see this in my clients. I see this in myself. With the destination in mind it’s easy to fixate on “but I’m not there yet.” Our eagerness for change can add discouragement to the mix. We take lack of “results” as a reflection of our self worth or injustice in the universe. But I’m putting in all this effort. What’s the hitch?

Some things to reflect on:

  • Change usually happens gradually and often in surprising ways.
  • Perhaps the “there” that you’re aiming for is elusive after all. […]

Freedom from Illusion

IMG_0754Incredibly intense few days on the planet.

Boston Marathon bombings, a major defeat for tougher gun laws in the US Senate, New Zealand legalized same sex marriage. 
Simultaneously there are bombs and deaths in the middle east that didn’t make mainstream media. There were deaths by gun violence in US cities that didn’t make mainstream media.
And there were a million occurrences of miracles, beauty and kindness happening every moment that may have gone unnoticed. It’s dizzying and disorienting. Information is filtered, not everything gets through.  Emotions are high… and the media plays with our emotions. It’s completely addictive. How do I stop looking at photos, scrolling through articles, listening to news reports? The harder it is to break […]

Which brain is guiding you?

images-1 2Sometimes we don’t know why we get the hit to do something. I remember a friend’s story about the tsunami of 2004. She and her wife were in Thailand with a plan to spend New Years on the beach. Suddenly she wanted to change plans and travel inland instead. Her partner agreed and they canceled their beachfront hotel. A fluke, perhaps, but one that saved their lives. How wonderful that she listened to her gut.

Lately a few decisions have come from a deep place of intuition in conflict with what I consciously wanted…even as recently as this morning. For years I have been hooked on […]

Create space & find You

yoga_bolsterThe message from my body this past year was “slow down!!!” I really tried to ignore it. It didn’t match my urgency for clarity in my life, didn’t match my image for myself. I wanted momentum, ease, abundance all in the direction of forward. And what I know is how to make things happen and to figure things out by efforting, basically by putting my energy and focus outside. My deep intuition said, “no way, sister. You ain’t going nowhere.” And there was no choice but to listen.
I chose to spend some time in what I called incubation. I broke habits. It was disorienting without my vices and my usual full plate. Who am I now? I was […]